VG member Franchise weekly news conferences

[mightypharaoh]

ESPN Breaking News

Tony Green KR for the VGLions celebrated his 25th birthday with other members of the VGLions at the Chocolate City strip club. Several players were involved in an altercation.

Mister Harris, Alphonse Disciple, Doctor Morbid, Will Garcia arrived at the club with Green to make him an honorary member of the stellar University of Phuuuuuuuuuuugggonomics. Reports are the 5 VGLions got into a brawl injuring 25 patrons and 10 strippers.

The "4 Horsemen of Phuuuuuuuuuuuggginomics" were in a similar situation whiole students at the prestigious school.

As soon as we get more information regarding the situation.

[A Disciple]

ESPN Breaking News

Tony Green KR for the VGLions celebrated his 25th birthday with other members of the VGLions at the Chocolate City strip club. Several players were involved in an altercation.

Mister Harris, Alphonse Disciple, Doctor Morbid, Will Garcia arrived at the club with Green to make him an honorary member of the stellar University of Phuuuuuuuuuuugggonomics. Reports are the 5 VGLions got into a brawl injuring 25 patrons and 10 strippers.

The "4 Horsemen of Phuuuuuuuuuuuggginomics" were in a similar situation whiole students at the prestigious school.

As soon as we get more information regarding the situation.

Disciple Rosenhaus has released the following statement regarding the alleged altercation at the club...

"My client has no idea what went on at the club last night. Alphonse was at home spending a quiet evening alone with a warm plate of cookies and a tall glass of milk. At no time was Mr. Disciple involved in any wrong doing. Thank you"

[mightypharaoh]

After this stunning TD celebration Hollywood has come calling. Rumor has it that VGLions fullback Steve "drunkenstarfish" Mullins is being cast as the lead character to the sequel to White Men Can't Jump. Mullins ahs been working on his "hops" at skyzonein Las Vegas. Lets hope the life of a movie star doesn't effect Mullins production with the team.

[DaFranchise]

Jordan Clark Paid $2 Million By Sponsor

That's right, Jordan Clark is going to be paid $2 million by his sponsor, Taco Bell, to wear the chain's logo on one side of his helmet. Not only that, he will be getting free Taco Bell for as long as he wants. When asked about the fines and uniform policies that will without a doubt follow, Jordan was quoted as saying "Well, the fine is what, like $500,000? That still leaves me with $1.5 million. Besides, that's not even including all of the free cheesy bean and rice burritos that I will be getting from this. I'd say it's worth it."

Expect the logo to be on his helmet during kickoff the next game. What's next? KFC buying an NFL team?

[NumenorBlader]

Q: Dejay, how do you feel about the VGLions - now 9-3 on the season on a 6 game winning streak?

Dejay Blader: Good. Not great, but good. Until we win the division and clinch a playoff spot then I'll be really happy. At the moment we're rolling and that's giving us a lot of confidence going into games, which is good for the team. We feel good about games, feel good about Sundays - which is the way it's meant to be. There's still a lot of work to do, so its no time to be complacent AT ALL.

Q: From winless to one of the winningest teams in the NFL right now, what do you think about that?

DB: Winningest? That's not a word in my English dictionary... you Americans... haha... Anyway, as I said in a press conference a few weeks back, we've forgotten last season. In our books it didn't even happen. What's happening right now is what we're focusing on. Always focused on the next game, we are... Bit 'a Yoda there for you 'Wars fans...

Q: What do you think of your QB, Harris, who is over 3000 yrds on the season?

DB: He's playing great ball right now. I think we've all seen he's been distributing the rock nicely, allowing everyone to play. That's why he's playing well. But let's not forgot the solid rec. corps. Without them he'll have 0 yrds. They've done very well getting open.

Q: Jordan Clark has been linked with a Taco Bell on his helmet this next week - what can you say about that?

DB: Nothing really, ask him if you see him. He's always been a joker and free Taco Bell sounds quite nice to be honest...

Q: What do you think of the "StripGate" incident involving 4 VGLions players earlier on this season? You were pictured there at the party, what happened?

DB: I honestly don't know. It's as simple as that.

Q: But it happened, and you were there, what can you say about it?

DB: Again, I honestly don't know what happened.

Q: There was a brawl involving strippers and patrone, and you say you know nothing of what happened?

DB: This isn't the Spanish Inquisition lads, easy on the questions. I was at the club with the lads enjoying Tony's birthday, I left the club and then I heard in the morning there was an altercation. I think a lot of it is just media hype trying to disrupt us before the big games, probably to prevent us creating a solid run into the playoffs.

Q: Concerning football now, what do you think of the defence, being 13 weeks in?

DB: They're a great bunch of guys, simple as. You've seen over the past weeks that we're keeping scores low, and that teams should fear our D. Even if they get a slimmer of hope of winning, we've shown consistently we've shut teams down when we need to. We don't get enough credit. We are the best D in the league.

Q: As a rookie, what are your thoughts of the playoff push and the final tense weeks of the season?

DB: I'm just focusing on the task ahead. It's great to be in a position like this in my first season, and I'm relishing the task and enjoying the games. It's times like this I feel lucky to be in the league and playing.

[R-ILLA]

BREAKING NEWS

Dr. Morbid has released the following statement concerning the "incident":

"I'll be your Huckleberry!!!" That was all he said before disappearing into the night. We believe it is some type of code word.

Source: AP reporter Rudy Smackaslab.

[A Disciple]

nice conference Blader.

Rilla, 'I got two guns. One or each of you."

[ThaSpecialist]

VG Blitz with the mic in hand, on picking off a GREAT Quarterback like Peyton Manning to seal the win:

"Great Quarterback? What da <censored>? Who be a great Quarterback? y'all for real? Ya's just called this mother<censored> great?? Yah know how many <censored> times this dude be chokin' in the <censored> playoffs?? You think that's <censored> great?? Y'alls know how many <censored> Superbowls this <censored> shoulda had if he be half as <censored> great as you <censored> fools be preachin'?? Y'all be talkin about <censored> great? <censored> great!?? How about Tom <censored> Brady great? That mother<censored> got three rings and 50 <censored> touchdowns in a <censored> season yo. Yah feel me <ceeeeeeeeensored>--that <censored> is real talk. Da truth!! Hahaha---wait y'all said <censored> great didn ya? What the <censored> be wrong with you mother<censored>s??? I can't even believe I be hearin this <censored>--y'all be thinking rocks and <censored> milk in a bowl be what the lil homies in the <censored> hood come up on to get <censored> tough right? Word, I done told my team mates y'all mother<censored> ain't right in the dome. Non-ya. Y'all think Tom great-<censored>-Brady woulda thrown the rock to me wit 4 <censored> ticks on the <censored> clock? Nah homie it ain't even <censored> like that on the real, I know this <censored> Peyton got all types of numbers and <censored> and homie will be the chief when he done and <censored> extending his <censored> double stuffed oreo eating <censored> and horrifying <censored> pretty boy homos with his ugly mug on NFL Network six <censored> days a week but y'all be straight up <censored> trippin puttin this <censored> up there like he on some <censored> Terry Bradshaw and Joe Montana <censored>. Y'all can't be saying great. <censored> great! Just great or <censored> great?? Y'all hear how <censored> stupid that <censored> sounds? How else y'all be candycoatin this <censored>??"

After taking a sip from his typical post-game Ol' E 40oz'er in a paper bag, Blitz looked back down at
the last of the reporters gathered. Most with stunned looks on their faces.

"y'all <censored> got any other dumb <censored> questions to ask?"

[Nevada_Ballin]

Thanks to everyone who voted for me, it's an honor to be recognized across the league and to be voted as the starting strong safety for the NFC in this year's Pro Bowl. But this doesn't happen without the rest of the team and the coaches doing their jobs - this team is hotter than a bbq at Swift's Uncle Emmitt's house after Sunday church.

I appreciate the individual honor for my efforts this year but I feel it will be all for naught if we don't bring a title home to Detroit. A Super Bowl ring would look real nice next to the Pro Bowl ring with the same year engraved on them. I'm not sure how many seasons I have left in me, this may be the last one before i decide to hang 'em up and think about coaching, so the incentive to win it all is definitely there for me..... and for the team as well. We have a bye week in the first round so that's going to help everyone out when we play the divisional round game.

Again, thanks for the Pro Bowl nod, I am sincerely humbled and grateful for the recognition..... now let's kick some freakin as in the playoffs!!!!!!!

[drunkenstarfish]

Steve the beast Mullins Pro Bowl Press conference

The humble FB 's eye's swelled with tears of joy at the accomplishments he had help make possible this year on the team. "I didn't get many touches, but did my best to contribute to the team winning". After a season that saw FB Steve Mullins score more td's in less touches than most of the cry baby TO wannabe's. The humble Superstar asked all the offensive linemen to pack their bags and go to Hawaii with him in a gesture of his thanks for their skill and helping him get to where he is today. He is footing the bill of course. All except the private jet which the coach so graciously contributed to the cause. Don't worry fellas we will have all the booze and strippers we need on the jet, but the 3 midget strippers are mine! Maybe some of the young pups should take notice and play as a team or GTFO!

[A Disciple]

"My client has shown that he has what it takes to be a star player in this league. It is through his oustanding efforts and abilities that this team has propelled into the playoffs. We fully expect the front office staff to be in contact with us about a long term contract extension. It is a discrace to my client's character for him not to be paid like the top tier WR that he is."

[Mike Wilbon]

"My client has shown that he has what it takes to be a star player in this league. It is through his oustanding efforts and abilities that this team has propelled into the playoffs. We fully expect the front office staff to be in contact with us about a long term contract extension. It is a discrace to my client's character for him not to be paid like the top tier WR that he is."

"Tony... in a recent statement released by Disciple Rosenhaus, agent to WR Alphonse Disciple of the VG Lions, Rosenhaus states that he expects to be offered a huge contract extension after this years performance. WR Disciple caught nearly 100 balls and had over 1,000 yards receiving... but does one solid year really warrent this type of demand???

I mean, the Disciple fella is really starting to become more trouble than he's worth. Let's not forget the uproar he was making earlier in the year about not having as many passes thrown his way. Is Alphonse becoming a distraction?"

[Tony Kornheiser]

"Tony... in a recent statement released by Disciple Rosenhaus, agent to WR Alphonse Disciple of the VG Lions, Rosenhaus states that he expects to be offered a huge contract extension after this years performance. WR Disciple caught nearly 100 balls and had over 1,000 yards receiving... but does one solid year really warrent this type of demand???

I mean, the Disciple fella is really starting to become more trouble than he's worth. Let's not forget the uproar he was making earlier in the year about not having as many passes thrown his way. Is Alphonse becoming a distraction?"

"Well I don't know Wilbon. I don't think it's Alphonse. I recall him calling a press conference early in the season APOLOGIZING to teammates... to fans... and to the front office. Stating he wants to be a team player. And that the team came before stats. I'm leaning to believing that it may be more so that agent Weaselhaus more so than anything. I think this kid is a good kid and just wants to play some ball. And he's being influenced by another money hungry agent."

[mightypharaoh]

Steven A. Smith - So the VGLions have the best record in the NFL this season. How does it feel?

Harris - Smitty it's good to prove the non-believers who wrote us off after 6 games. I'd like to give all of them a special shout out. Cameraman get a close up! To all those who didn't believe HI HATERS!

SS - What did it mean to win the MVP?
MH - It's an honor man. A lot of great players have won this award. I'm glad I can be mentioned in their company.

SS - How proud are you of this team?
MH - Smitty man, when the chips were down after 6 games, it was tough. But the team remained strong and focused. We had some cats play their butts off this season. I mean we got 6 cats going to the pro-bowl.

SS - Well to tell you the truth I had my doubts. I mean you guys played like doo doo a couple of games.
MH - Yeah we did, lost some tough games, but that built the character of this team.

SS - Ok so I want you to give me the real
MH - Yeah man

SS - What happened at the club the night of Tony Green's birthday
MH - Smitty you my boy and now that the case is settled I'll tell you the real ya underdig?

SS - I'm listening
MH - So we roll in the club and Garcia got us up in VIP.

SS - yeah ok
MH - So we all know what Garcia did before he played ball. So we went in VIP and had to put it down.

SS - So the injuries sustained by the strippers were...
MH - stitches my dude. Thats all I'm sayin

SS - and the patrons that were injured were....
MH - frustrated because they could get any lap dances after we shut it down. The chicks couldn't sit down, underdig!

SS - you guys are wild boys.
MH - we had to rep for Tony Green and show what being from Da Uuuuu is all about.

SS - so after that and your nightmare game vs the Skins the team went on A roll.
MH - Indeed, but now the task at hand is win the Show. Like I said Smitty when we get to the playoffs I'll make the throws that count.

SS - My Man! Thanks for rappin with me today
MH - Indeed Smitty.

[ThaSpecialist]

VG Blitz on the Player Award Announcements & Post Season Potential:

DJ: "Blitz, you're going to Honolulu. Any plans?"
VG Blitz: "Hittin a <censored>."
DJ: "Anyone in particular?"
VG Blitz: "<censored> anybody! AFC <censored>, NFC <censored>, <censored> on tha sidelines holdin 1st down markers, <censored> up in da club after da game, chickenheads outside after tha <censored> club! I ain't discriminate, ya heard?"
DJ: "You ain't going to hit a woman, right?"
VG Blitz: "<censored> what? you ain't figure out what tha <censored> I mean? c'mon, yahs ever been to <censored> Hawaii? yahs ever seen them mahi mahi ladies? Shakin that <censored> up under them <censored> haystacks??? Dang!"
DJ: "What do you think about the VG Lions in the post season?"
VG Blitz: "Destiny <censored>."
DJ: "Destiny? Elaborate man."
VG Blitz: "I mean, m'sayin, we callin it 'settin up shop' up in da hood but on tha real, yo, we ain't be <censored> around, son. We just ain't do that <censored>. We comin to <censored> play. And <censored> that ain't figure that <censored> out in tha beginning of tha <censored> year know it now. And any <censored> that we played done got tha <censored> tattoo'd on they <censored> forehead. We put in <censored> work homie. Ask that ol' <censored> Ballin what he think, he gone Hoe-a-lulu wit me son. We on that Sundance n Butch <censored>. Bonnie & Clyde <censored>. but dont get it twisted--this <censored> Clyde. Dat <censored> Bonnie."
DJ: "Haha, that's what's up. So has Coach of the Year Rod Marinelli ever told you to calm down?"
VG Blitz: "Now why the <censored> would he do that?"
DJ: "......."
VG Blitz: "<censored> you think Coach be tellin dat <censored> Ballin to calm down? You think Coach be tellin Ballhawk calm down?"
DJ: "I just think some have begun to wonder after the incident in the club a few weeks ago with the injured strippers."
VG Blitz: "I ain't have no <censored> part in that. Who said that <censored>? Where y'all get this <censored> from?"
DJ: "Nobody said you were involved."
VG Blitz: "But yo imma hold it down for my <censored> team. Them <censored> was up in there wit Colts jerseys on and <censored>. Broads was just in the way, for real. We ain't hit <censored> on this team. But imma tell y'all like this, I see AFC #18 imma hit his <censored>. That <censored> done. Gone be homeless. real talk <censored>. Turn dat <censored> inta a vegetable. HAHA, yo his <censored> already look like one them white <censored> zuchini. Y'all see that <censored> dome piece? imma split it."
DJ: "So what you're saying is you're gunning for Peyton Manning in the Pro Bowl?"
VG Blitz: "Imma see dat <censored> in tha Superbow' first, word, then we gone clean <censored> up in da Pro Bow'. <censored> yahs know, put it in da books now. Yahs think I got <censored> heart? Dis <censored> Ballin got 150 years of dat <censored>. <censored> givin heart transplants and still <censored> pumpin'. He like da homie Garcia in the <censored> sack."
DJ: "Now, you keep referencing Ballin, who's going to the Pro Bowl as well. But do you think watching him has helped you become the NFC DB of the Year?"
VG Blitz: "No doubt--no doubt--no doubt. Watchin all these <censored> do they thang been a pleasure homie, believe dat <censored>. No doubt these <censored> know i'm comin ta make a play and smash dat <censored> but I know they got me if I slip up. real talk <censored> that how we get them dubya's in stacks. <censored> tha awards dawg, we done this <censored> as a team. This ain' no one horse show."
DJ: "Good call my brother. We're just about out of time. Anything else you had in mind real quick?"
VG Blitz: "Couple shout outs <censored>."
DJ: "No doubt, go for it. The air is yours!"
VG Blitz: "Word, lemme holla at my <censored> Roof-Roof, dat my <censored> right there. Tha homie Sasquatch too, ey yo <censored> done worry imma be there in Feb homie, we gone spark up da <censored> hood wit some barbeque porkchops. Yo an my ladyfriend in Detroit, get yo <censored> off dat snow shortstop! Haha, manye--and where the <censored> dat chickenhead outside tha <censored> door be at wit my drink y'all? C'mon a <censored> thirsty!! <censored> cornerstore just down tha block, cot dayummm!!"