My neighbor Jack...
For those of you who do not know my neighbor Jack let me give you a quick rundown.
I have known Jack since I was 6. He is not to smart to say the least. Over the last few years he has gotten himself into some very strange predicaments. Me being the blunt person I am...I don't handle Jack well.
So yesterday I am laid up sick all day. Throwing up, fever, the whole bit. I slept pretty much the whole day, so I ended up being up a good portion of the night. I get this phone call in the morning from Jack.
Hey can you come up here for a minute? I need some help.
What did you do now?
My furnace is making a funny noise.
So I truck down the alley in 6" of snow to Jack's house.
His wife Patty(also known as fatty) answers the door in her night gown.
Damn girl they make them som b1tches in bigger sizes!
Jack comes out and say come here and listen to this.
I walk over to the register and listen.
Blub blub blub.
Jack have you went to the basement?
No, why?
Where is the furnace?
The basement.
Why in the hell would you go down there?
I walk over to the kitchen sink and turn the water on. A trickle of water comes out.
How long has your water pressure been like this?
A few days.
You aren't really this dumb are you Jack?
What?
Come on.
We walk to the basement door.
You have a sump pump?
Nah
Yea you never need them things do you. especially when your basement is full of water.
What??????
I open the door. There is about 1 1/2 feet of water in the basement.
Oh Schit.
I'd say your furnace is drowning slowly.
What do I do?
Turn the water off would be my first guess.
Where is that?
Do you still breast feed Jack?
Just turn it off.
My a55 ain't gettin in that cold water. It's right there.
So he wades through and shuts the water off.
Looks like my work here is done Jack. Gotta go HAHAHAHAHA
No doubt there will be more to come on this one.
DISCLAIMER:
*the above statement was not intended as a passive aggressive comment*
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