Me and My Big Mouth: A Terrell Owens Story

[bucsrock18]

Terrell Owens was sitting in his house, tweeting about how awesome his house is, and how nobody can have it but him. His phone rang, and he answered it. It was Jerry Jones, who told him he was being released from the Cowboys because of his behavior. He hung up, and Terrell was mad. He didn't understand why Jerry Jones would release him because of his behavior. I mean sure, he complained, spit in a another guy's face, whined, among other things. But he was a great talent, no doubt. Now, he was out of a job. He didn't seem to realize he was a free agent, so he went down the street and got a job at the 7-11, making $4 an hour. After a 6 hour shift, he went home and saw that Ralph Wilson, Jr. had called. He called him back, and soon was a member of the Buffalo Bills. A million things raced through his head. "What if Edwards doesn't throw me the ball? What if Edwards doesn't throw me the ball? What if Edwards doesn't throw me the ball?" He would soon find out in training camp if Edwards would throw him the ball, and if he would be a good member of the Buffalo Bills.

[bucsrock18]

When T.O. showed up at training camp, he was immediately hated by the entire team. Nobody wanted a jerk like him there, to ruin team chemistry. As you can probably guess, Trent Edwards didn't throw him the ball once. Dick Jauron had a chat with him about this, and the next day, Edwards was throwing to him. There was a twist to Edwards suddenly throwing him the ball. Owens had become a DB, and was picking off every pass Edwards threw, because Edwards sucks. It seemed that the new position fit well for T.O., and he was going to improve the entire Bills defense. The team still hated him. This was one problem T.O. was definetely going to have to solve, and he addressed the entire team after practice. Before he could say a word, Lee Evans sucker punched him. Evans had been mysteriously missing from the team during this time, and now you know why. Evans was fined $20,000 and was suspended until week 8 of the regular season. He wasn't the only one who was suspended though. The entire team mobbed T.O., and Roger Goodell kicked them out of the NFL for good. They were sent to Europe, where they became the Belfast Bruisers. T.O. had decided to hightail it out of there, and moved to Canada, where we became part of the Winnipeg Warthogs. His career there will begin in the next update.

[bucsrock18]

The Warthogs had no idea how much of a brat T.O. was, so once they saw his talent, they immediately thought they were on their way to winning the CFL championship. Well, his first game went quite interesting. They were facing the Ontario Otters, with Owens starting at WR. The first play of the game was a 70 yard bomb that T.O. dropped. He then asked the QB, Jake Russell, why he didn't throw him the ball. Seconds later, a huge fist fight had begun. Both benches cleared, and they had to bring in the Ontario police to stop the chaos. Both Owens and Russell were arrested, and sent to trial the next day. Trial didn't go so well for either man. Both men were charged with assault on one another, and sent to prison. You could probably see that coming, but there was a twist. Russell and Owens were cellmates, so they were spending 30 days in prison with each other. Not the kind of thing that prison guards want. As you can tell, this did not go well. It began with the words "Whiteboy can't throw." and ended with something I can't say out loud. So they were finally seperated, and put in their own cells. During the trial, the judge had also kicked T.O. out of the country, so after his sentence was over, he moved to Samoa. This did not go well. As soon as he got there, he was nearly eaten alive by cannibals who happened to watch the CFL. He was forced to move out of Samoa, and now does not know where he will live.

[dgeneryte]

Then what happened?

[SuperDuck55]

T.O. is a whinny Queen who gives a bad name to NFL players. His reality show makes me want to puke and I can't believe that Americans can stand to watch that kind of garbage. T.O. will never ever be in the same league as players like Larry Fitzgerald or Reggie Wayne because he's more worried about media coverage than doing his job. Though I would be greatfull of my god diven talent, I would be ashamed of the way I acted if I was him.

[Chargers_SD]

Lmao. His stupid show on VH1 is so stupid! It shows the true inner woman of him.

[18Manning4Realz]

That would be great if he was in Winnipeg and out of our country. Finally, this recession can end... and Canada's is just "aboot" to start. Or continue. Whichever one applies.